Week 6, 2020 - Zone of Concern and Zone of Control
You can only be happy if your zone of concern overlaps exactly your zone of control.
Reframing is a way to revisit your memories (events, ideas, concepts, emotions, feelings) to frame these events in one or multiple alternative ways.
But, according to the author Benoit des Ligneris1, one could regain some control of this process by
- be coming aware that you were reframing the situation
- applying a the zone of concern/zone of control mental model to the situation
Using this zone of concern/zone of control mental model is simple, first
- Identify your negative emotions, especially guilt/sadness.
- Identify which were with your area of control.
Then, take a step back and look at the bigger picture.
- Scale down your concern zone
- Scale up your control zone
how can you scale down your concern zone?
Each human has a unique view of the world. Make your own mindset which can make you think
how can I be responsible for all this?
and be deeply convinced by it.
How can you scale up your control zone?
Ego is the enemy. In order to exist, the ego has to exercise control. Exerise control is because of insecurities and uncatchable ego. It’s important to realize that
You can always define what is important, just, terrible, funny, sad, or stressful.
For tough issues, alternate between these two views of concern and control. At each cycle, reframe your concern and based on the control you really have.
Reframing is not a cure. You will also need to take action as you step forward in your life.
Use the negative feelings to help you commit to changing into the better version of you that you want to be. Work exclusively on what you control and relinquish the illusion of control that caused all this suffering. Be 100% present with the people you love and admire. For more mundane matters, keep control of your emotions and temper during each interaction with fellow living beings.